From Crisis to Crisis

Another disturbing discovery I made was that I was bouncing from one urgent crisis to the next. Every single week brought some major, unexpected disruption -- an event that surprised me and changed my life in ways I could not have expected. Every single week.

Since I never expected any of these events, I was completely unprepared for them. I had no plans, no extra provisions set aside, no readiness. I managed to get us through each crisis, and waited for things to calm down so that I could have time for me. The problem with this approach was that things never calmed down.

This is why I never had time for myself. This is why I burned out, several times. My health suffered. My family suffered. I was not able to build a life, because I was too busy repairing the one I was living. Finally, I faced the facts. My world was going to keep whirling like a load of laundry in the rinse and spin cycle. It was not going to stop. There was only so much that I could do, even on my best day, to keep the household running smoothly.

It wasn't that I gave up on organization, but I came to understand that, by itself, good time management was not able to lead us to a worthy life. Ironically, this small adjustment changed the trajectory of my path and eventually delivered me to the place I had envisioned.

My focus shifted from just being organized to living well. I began to look for ways to take care of my body and soul in the middle of a busy life. I knew I could not wait for life to slow down. I could not wait for better times. I had to find a way to nourish myself in the midst of life as it was.