Finding a Journal to Love

A journal is a very personal choice. I have shopped for journals for a number of years. Along the way, I've found what works for me and what doesn't.

Here's what I've learned:

1. The computer doesn't work well for all my journaling needs. I need something that is portable. Life presents a variety of situations and challenges, and it's important that the journal can be carried to the bookstore, the library, the coffee shop, the bedroom, the porch, and so on.

2. The same journal doesn't suit everyone. My current journals are spiral-bound. My husband who is left-handed would not be able to use them comfortably. I have friends whose journals are smaller than mine and I know those small pages would frustrate me. I want room to spread out! And those popular ribbon markers just get in my way. The point is, what works for me won't necessarily work for you.

3. Trial and error is the true path to finding a journal you love to use. I know this sounds frustrating, but it's an honest insider's tip. There is no substitute for a little experience. Some people stop journaling before they have really begun, and they don't realize that the problem may be that they haven't found the right journal, or diary. A journal that really works will be as unique as you are. You may have to buy one, then try it, then buy another and try it, and finally find your true love several weeks later.

4. The ideal journal should meet your needs, your preferences, in every way, rather than being a task-master that requires you to fit it's mold. Watch, too, for those needs to change as your lifestyle changes. During the years when my children were in the elementary grades, I used the Country Diary which showed a week on a page and only required a few sentences from me each day. I recorded the weather, what we did, and an inspiration thought or important observation. I could do this easily while enjoying my morning cup of coffee. I didn't have the energy for longer passages. But it was a great way for me to stop and reflect for a few minutes. During one summer when I was trying to recharge myself, I used a very large journal that gave me space for sketches. I drew a simple sketch of each bird I saw and recorded what I saw in the outdoors around me. This was very refreshing, and just what I needed at the time. One of my friends uses her journal to record her exercise and food diary, then writes extra reflections alongside that. Lately, I have used two journals of different sizes: one for recording prayers and Bible study notes, and one for reflective writing about anything. So, think about what you really want to do in a journal before you buy one.

5. For the best results, take your time. I usually require several shopping trips before I finally find a journal that is right for me. Let these trips be a kind of joy break for you, and don't give up too easily. There are a lot of choices out there. Some of my favorite spots for finding something right are: Staples, Borders, and Walmart. Fancier options look wonderful, but often are too expensive for me to be comfortable with experimenting, and often they don't really do a better job. Book stores are good resources for journals. You can look around on Amazon and some other online shopping venues as well. You may find something special right on your home computer. For example, I recently discovered the French Country Diary online, which looks delightful. I had no idea it was even out there.

6. While you are looking, you can just use a simple, spiral-bound, subject notebook. It will work while you search and then you won't feel pressed to buy something that isn't quite right. That will also let you start your reflective exercises immediately, without waiting, and take advantage of the precious summer days when you have fewer demands on your time. It's much easier to build personal habits before the school year begins.

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I know that some of you are now wondering what journal I am currently using, so here it is . . .

Right now I am using two deep red, spiral bound journals from Staples. They match, but are of two different sizes. The lines are spaced well apart and that makes them easy on the eyes. The journals fold back on themselves and sit perfectly flat, which lets me comfortably use both sides of the pages. One size fits down in my purse. I have enjoyed them very much. As I wrote above, one is for recording prayers and Bible study notes, and the other is for other kinds of reflective writing on any subject -- kind of like writing letters about my life to myself. It works well for me and gives me all the flexibility I need.

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I hope some of you will share with the rest of us where you find the journal you love, how you use it, and what it looks like.

Happy Shopping!

On My Bookshelf: Your Life

"Don't rummage around in your past for 'important' events -- events you think are important enough to justify asking the rest of us to read about them. Write about small, self-contained incidents that are still vivid in your memory. If you remember them, it's because they contain a larger truth that your readers will recognize in their own lives. Think small and you'll wind up finding the big themes . . . "

- William Zinsser, Writing About Your Life

Since we have been talking about cultivating a private world, writing in journals, and the value of small things, it seems like a good time to share with you my favorite book for personal narratives. It's a delightful read, even if you aren't interested in ever writing for anyone else. Once I picked up William Zinsser's Writing About Your Life, it became my gold standard for writing nonfiction. Not only does he teach his lessons with stories which are very accessible, he models them by writing about his own experiences. Along the way, he inspired me to live the fullest life I can, rather than simply doing what others expect and choosing safer, duller paths.

The book came to me at just the right time last February. I was casting about for my mission, searching for a sense of who I was as a writer. I found myself, as a soul with a story to tell, in Zinsser's stories. He drew me in, taught me, inspired me, and sent me forth with a clear vision of why I should share it with others. Something inside of me that has long doubted my own unique voice was nourished, mended, and restored.

" Who gave you permission to think that your story will interest the rest of us?

" Well, I give you permission. All writers are embarked on a quest of some kind, and you're entitled to go on yours. My purpose in this book is to give you the permission and the tools . . ."

That's exactly what he did for me.

Writing About Your Life could also be a great book to share with your high school students. I would recommend following it up with his book On Writing Well, which could serve as a textbook or reference book. Zinnser's instruction is ideal for students who like to write, write easily, and have a lot to say, but who lack discipline and shrink back from editing. He clearly shows why editing is essential. The years he spent teaching composition at Yale serve him well: he's a great instructor. He knows what to emphasize and what the student probably can figure out for himself. He doesn't waste the reader's time, but he doesn't pamper the young writer either. He is straightforward in his instruction, respectful in his tone, very honest, and highly practical in his advice and examples. But be forewarned: this is material for the mature student. By this, I don't mean that the subject matter is unsuitable for younger students, only that they might not connect with Zinsser personally until they are older. My estimation is that 10th or 11th grade is a great time to introduce your student to these books. I anticipate that some of you may eagerly try to use the book in the middle school years. Some of you may even write back to me that your elementary grade student loved it. In the homeschool community, we all know students who are the exception to the rule. Still, I wouldn't recommend it that soon. Here's why: any earlier than high school, and many of Zinsser's lessons would probably not have their full, intended impact. Your student may enjoy the stories, but will likely miss or not be able to fully apply the lessons from the book. Of course, you can always read the book first yourself, and then decide when to introduce it.

For now, I suggest that you find a copy of Writing About Your Life. Read it -- just for the joy of it. Then ask yourself what the book might be saying to you about your own life. Do you have a story to tell? Do you have a life that matters? We should not despise the day of small things, but go forward with boldness and share what we have been given.

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Please note: I did not receive any compensation or free merchandise in exchange for my written review or my opinion about this book.

Perspective

I have been reading passages about Jesus calming the storm while he was in the boat with the disciples and his parables about the kingdom of God. Jesus' way of doing things and his view of events and spiritual matters was radically different. The disciples were bewildered, perplexed, confused, awed, even frightened, as they listened to Him and watched Him do His work. His perspective was strange to them. Often, they had to ask Him what it all meant. But His perspective was true. He always spoke the truth, lived the truth, and modeled the truth.

I find it fascinating that the disciples, who clearly admired and loved him, who had given up all to follow him and learn from him, couldn't understand him. Most of all, it was his perspective on things that baffled them. They had never considered looking at life that way.

We have the advantage of reading the stories about Jesus hundreds of years later. Theologians and pastors help us interpret what they mean. The events of his life seem inevitable and understandable to us. We think, Of course Jesus was going to help that man. That's because He's Jesus! How blind could those people be? Don't they get it? We shake our head at the stubborness of those who resisted Him and argued with Him.

If we had been there, on the spot, it would not have seemed so clear. And we are not that different now. When God moves in certain ways in our lives, we are bewildered. I don't understand what you are doing here, God. Why did you let that happen? We are perplexed about what we should do, what choice we should make. We pray for guidance. We pray for peace about our situation. We are much like the disciples in the boat when storms arrive. Lord, don't you see what's happening here? Save us!

Even after years of being a Christian and reading my Bible, truth can be like this for me -- as strange and perplexing, as bewildering and exhilarating and frightening as the life I lead. I am frequently trying to find the way of truth through the events of my life. It isn't easy. I usually discover that God's perspective is entirely different from mine. I am like the disciples. What do you mean, Lord? How can that be right? I don't understand.

The greatest thing that happens when I spend time alone in my private world and in conversation with the Lord is that my perspective changes. It's not the problems I solve or the peace I discover or the beauty that fills my soul, although I treasure every gift that comes to me there. It's that I am, gradually over time, learning to see what is happening around me with new eyes. This miracle of new sight, invisible to others, comes to me simply by being in the quiet and in the presence of the Lord, and having many little conversations. It's my contact with the quiet and with the One who is truth that helps me understand myself and my life. I am changed because I have spent time there, alone with Him. It will change how I view everything and how I respond to it. Because of this, I will live a life that otherwise would not have been possible.

After years of seeing this principle work itself out in my life, I know that I don't have to gain immediate answers or signs from being alone with God. Just being there, and responding to whatever I find, will accomplish what is needed. It will change me. It will give me new sight. And usually the things I carry back with me into my little life will not be the things I expected. God often surprises me. This past week, I have been spending time in this way. I am weary and unable to concentrate well. I do not say much. I do not have any impressions that help me solve my problems. It's very quiet, very still. But I am not concerned that nothing is happening. I know that something is. I just can't see it yet. I know that, as the days go by, I will regain my ability to concentrate in the quiet and I will find rich treasures in that place. For now, I am simply going there and being there.

My advice to you, as you try to spend time in solitude and quiet with the Lord, is to be patient. Over time, you will be changed, and it will be good. Do what you can now, and your soul will be enlarged to take on greater things and to experience deeper connections. For now, choose to be alone every day for a few minutes and to reflect, with Him by your side. You will be glad you did.

Small Things

"What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest seed you plant in the ground. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in it's shade."

- Mark 4:30-32

During my quiet time this morning, I read this passage from Mark and then chapter 4 of Zechariah, which contains the famous quote:

" The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this temple; his hands will also complete it. Then you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you. Who despises the day of small things? Men will rejoice when they see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel. "

For an quick overview on the story of Zerubbabel, you can read this article by Ralph Wilson. I have not encountered any of his materials, nor have I read his books, so I can't comment on those, but I thought this article was a good summary.

How often has God used the small, the insignificant, the weaker, the younger, the least one to accomplish His work? The Bible is full of stories about such surprises. God seems to have a special passion for working through small things. Even Paul writes to the Corinthians:

"Think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not may were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong; He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. " (Corinthians 1:26-29)

I don't think for a minute that God dislikes strength or wisdom or any other good quality that we possess. Afterall, He is our creator. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made," as the Psalmist sings. Our talents and abilites and gifts honor the Creator of them. But He does something special with small things, with weak things, with the seemingly insignificant. He uses these to speak of His character and to reveal Himself in ways that unique to His Kingdom.

What is He showing us? That there are no unimportant people. That we, in our rush to seek greatness, in our pride, in our self-protectiveness, seek to be more important than those around us. This is a great mistake. We have despised the hand of God in creating every living thing. We have judged some individuals and some things to be less worthy than others. It is this that He shames, this selection that we make.

We have various ways of measuring ourselves and others. Whether it's by education, economic success, family connections, natural abilities, or careers, we divide and classify. In doing this, we are the ones who suffer. We miss what might have been. We lose the rich relationships we could have known, lessons we should have learned, places we might have visited. We forfeit the work that might have been ours and the harvest that might have been reaped from it.

But God is at work. He is turning over our systems of measurement. He is showing us that small things have their place and small people have their day. Who despises the day of small things? We all do. That is the point. And we will be proved wrong, once again, to our great delight.

In your quiet time, when God whispers to you of the small thing you could do, step into it at the next opportunity. When you see visions of something you might do, but feel inadequate for, do it anyway. Yes, you are small. You have a small life. You do small things. That is your estimation. In God's economy, this is the perfect investment for significant work. He's delighted with you. In vast and divine joy, He undertakes the work of molding you and shaping you and moving through you to accomplish His work.

The mustard seed -- the smallest of seeds -- is His chosen metaphor. We need to learn to look with new eyes so that we might see the opportunities right at our feet, lest we trample them in our eagerness to do something more important and in our tendency to trust in those who seem to be wiser and stronger.

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[All Bible quotations in this article are from the New International Version.]

Finding a Place

Finding a place to spend time alone is one of the first hurdles each person must move beyond in order to cultivate the private world. This can be more challenging than we might expect. Distractions, needs around us, responsibilities, and our own inconsistency, all tend to pull us toward the tumultuous daily life that surrounds us. The illusion is that if we just get our list of pressing things done, we can finally sit down and be quiet. But that almost never happens. Today's list will be replaced by another, and then another. As each task is completed, the empty space it left behind is quickly filled. Like water, the needs and demands of life flow in behind our work on filling them, like water pouring into a container. Life will always be this full.

The books I have read on the daily quiet time have not helped me solve this dilemma. Probably I can't help you solve it here. Honestly, I am not sure it is ever solved. I have come to the point where I view it as an ongoing challenge, a recurring theme. The tension between the things I must attend to and attending to the needs of my soul repeats itself in each season of my life and in every setting. The specific issues change, but the conflict remains. I compare it to gardening. As long as there are gardens, there will be weeds and a need to manage the weeds. There will be the need for watering and pruning. The maintenance-free garden is a great idea, but not a reality. At the same time, with disciplined, regular effort and experience, the gardener can make the management of these things easier and can make time to enjoy the garden.

The first thing to do, however, is not to work harder and faster. It is to be quiet. Try different times of day. Try different settings. I have found that a variety of options gives me the ability to do this more consistently. I have plans for when my usual plan fails. I've had successful quiet times on gentle walks, in parks, in libraries, in coffee shops, in my car (not driving, though), in my bedroom, in my guest room, on the porch, and so forth. At first, I needed the surroundings to be really quiet, since every noise distracted me. Over time, I found that a low-noise atmosphere still worked pretty well, since none of the noises had anything to do with me. I was in a bubble, in my own private world. The journal helped me a good deal with this, too. It helped me focus my thoughts.

From my quiet times came new understanding and a sense of rest and peace that began to carry over into the other parts of my life. This didn't happen immediately, but it did happen. Before long, creative ideas about how to better manage my life appeared -- in my quiet time. This was the exact opposite of my expectations. In the beginning, I thought that getting organized and getting on top of all of my responsibilities would mean I would have time to be quiet and reflect. Instead, making time to be quiet and reflect gave me fresh ideas that helped me get organized and attend my responsibilities more efficiently and effectively. I found hours of extra time in my week, by making a few simple changes. This gave me more time to reflect, which in turn, gave me more ideas for managing all the aspects of my busy life.

Still, years after learning this simple principle, I can fall into the illusion that if I just get the next task done, then I will have time to be quiet. Whenever I am functioning this way, the quiet time rarely happens and when it does, it is short and tense. I need to relax. I need to give my soul room to wander and dream a little. I need to do it like I eat three meals a day, sleep at night, and brush my teeth. Then I will find that the pieces of my life, over time, are arranged properly.

This doesn't mean that my life will be perfect. I will not always look my best. My house will not be clean all the time. But things will generally be attended to at a level that is acceptable. And my soul will be satisfied, or at least moving toward satisfaction. To live deliberately from the center of my being, to do what matters, to be conscious of the long-term harvest of my work -- this is the goal. It is not a performance, done for an audience, to a particular standard. Rather, it is all about meaning and beauty and love and significance. These are the things we long for, this is the life we yearn to live. It is quite possible, regardless of our circumstances, but to find this life, we must first learn to be quiet with ourselves and our Lord.

So the first thing is the simple setting aside of a few minutes, in spite of and regardless of all the other demands on your time. Start with an amount of time that is comfortable for you, even if that is two minutes. Each week, add five more, until you can enjoy 30-45 minutes alone with your thoughts. That's the length of time most people need to really shed the cares of the day and think deeply. Take a notebook or journal with you. Ask God to help you and guide you. Record your impressions. I enjoy taking my Bible with me. During the hardest times of my life, I have read through the Psalms. Each day, I read one Psalm and copied a passage that appealed to me. Then I sat quietly with it for a few minutes. I recorded any feelings or thoughts that came to mind. I found I could always do this, regardless of how difficult my life was, how hard it was for me to concentrate. During the darkest and most challenging times, I have returned to this simple exercise as a starting point for healing.

Be on the lookout for times of day when this might suit your unique schedule, demands, and temperament. Early morning is a good choice for some people, but not for everyone and not for every time. You will need options for the days when your initial plan doesn't work. For example, today I am going to leave the house and go to a quiet place outside. This is one of my options and the best one right now, because I slept in and awoke with other members of my household. Some women find that they do much better, in general, if they leave the house for a few minutes. It helps to be physically removed from the place where they work and tend to their families.

Wherever you are, whatever you try, think of me as your companion. I am traveling the same path and encountering the same challenges. Let us seek the life of purpose and beauty, the way of love and meaning, together. I'd be delighted to hear from you about your own experiences in your private world. And I will continue to write to you from mine.

On My Bookshelf: An Invitation

To seek to fill a book with words about moving beyond words into solitude and silence is a daunting task; it is laughable really, if one sees the irony in it all. I have found myself . . . drawn to the task and yet somehow strangely resistant. On the one hand, I have been drawn to the task because my journey into solitude and silence has been the single most meaningful aspect of my spiritual life to date. . . . On the other hand, I am aware of the continuing challenge solitude and silence represent in my own life. Even though it has been well over ten years since I first said yes to God's invitations to enter more intentionally into these disciplines, I still find it challenging to protect space for these times apart which so deeply satisfy the empty places of my soul.

- Ruth Haley Barton

For those of us who are wanting to learn more about the benefits of quiet time, there is a slim volume entitled An Invitation to Silence and Solitude. In this little book, Ruth Haley Barton shares openly about her own personal discoveries from sitting still with God. The book earns it's 2005 Book Award from Christianity Today through it's crisp and elegant writing, it's universal appeal, and it's relevance to our lives. I found Barton's honesty deeply engaging. It was hard to put down the book.

I am richer and wiser through Barton's sharing, and I have been inspired to move into the landscape she has traveled. Although I have read reviews warning against the expectation that God would speak to us personally by giving us impressions, convictions, or ideas, and even against Barton's book in particular, I did not have any problems theologically with her story or her helpful suggestions. Barton is clearly in the center of centuries of Christian and Jewish traditions and is on sound scriptural ground. In addition to this, her voice is authentic and vulnerable: she does not ask us to do anything she has not done. She is not telling us what to do; rather, she is sharing from the perspective of a fellow traveler on the spiritual landscape.

I like, very much, some of her practical ideas to try. They can be used just as they are, or serve as a springboard for your own spiritual exercises. If your prayer life seems to be lacking something, this may be just what you've needed to help you move into a richer relationship with God. The book is short, and therefore very achieveable. The ideas are deep, but they are simply presented, and easy on tired eyes and minds.

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Please note: I did not receive any compensation or free merchandise in exchange for my written review or my opinion about this book.

Tending Our Souls

We have been having some techinical difficulties with our internet service. This has made it virtually impossible for me to post on Apple Pie for the last three days. I have now found two ways to work around the problem until it is resolved. But these two strategies will mean that my posts may not be put up early in the morning every day. They may be published later, and at various times. If you are one of my readers who logs on every morning, and you don't see a post, check back later. My plan is that there will be something on Apple Pie nearly every day -- at some point in the day. For now, that's the best I can do.

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We have been busy with relocating ourselves to our new, temporary home and with visiting family. Funny how these things are -- good, but more involved than you think they will be. Still, we are making progress, and every day that passes brings us a little closer to our goal of being settled in for the duration of our stay.

I have been impressed to write for you about the private, inner world for a bit. This is a wonderful project for busy mothers to undertake in the summer months -- one that pays dividends for a long time. As I write to you about building a private world, I will be attending to my own. I know, from the many hard times I have experienced, that quiet time in the private world refreshes the soul, mind, and body. I've felt pretty strung out lately, hardly like myself at all. I know this is just a result of being very busy and under a lot of stress for an extended period of time, and that the remedy is to rest my soul and mind in my private world, with the Lord by my side. It's not that I need to discuss any particular issue. What matters most is that we are together, in the quiet. The habit of reflection allows important issues the chance to float to the surface of the mind where they can be resolved.

Funny thing is, even though I know this, I don't always do it. At least, not at first. My immediate reaction to stress is to want to run away from it to something that distracts me from it. This is because pleasant diversions make me feel immediately better. My mind is elsewhere, so the agony I was experiencing stops. Diversions aren't bad. In fact, they can be quite useful, as long as I use them wisely. But when they become my only way of coping with the hard things in life, I become more empty, cold, and shallow. I build up a backlog of issues that I have not addressed and which weigh upon me. I hardly notice that I am carrying the extra weight of these things, but I can't figure out why I am so tired all of the time. It's puzzling, too, why I am irritable and short with those I love, and why I feel so dissatisfied with everything around me.

Of course, the answer is simple. I have neglected the inner self that is always present everywhere I go. Everything that matters must come from the invisible center of my life where I decide, consider, ponder, and resolve to act. When that center has been left unattended, where there are unresolved concerns and poor choices that have not been addressed and longings that have not been acknowledged, the strain of life becomes too heavy for me. It is needful at these times for me to be still and to listen to the beat of my own heart, to the hum of my own thoughts, and to the Divine whisper of my Creator. If I do this, then all will be well, and I will know that all is well.

In building a private world, this is the first step -- just pull away from the noise of daily life for a few minutes every day. What do you notice? At first, it may not be pleasant. You may sense many negative things -- anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, longings. Avoid the mistake of running away from these things. Instead, quietly offer them to God and ask Him to begin helping you with them. Ask Him to help you learn to sit quietly with Him. Do not try to solve anything yet. Just be quiet. Put the concerns you have next to you on a piece of paper, if necessary, and learn to just rest from the cares of the day for a few minutes. At first, you may only be able to do this for a minute or two, and you may think you are not accomplishing anything, but remember that the strange and troubling thoughts you have are the very same ones you carry with you all the time, underneath the surface of daily activities. This is a heavy burden, and it's best that you become aware of it. Eventually, you will begin to resolve them, as you learn to sit still and to listen.

Perhaps you will even want to get a journal for recording your reflections and impressions. It can be something as simple as a spiral-bound notebook, or it can be a hardbound journal that you have especially selected for this time. Keeping notes of what comes to mind in the quiet is a good way to get a handle on what is happening in the inner self. Lack of awareness is often our biggest challenge. Doing this daily for a period of weeks is a good exercise.

When we are still, when we learn to pull away from all of the demands and expectations upon us, we can begin to find ourselves. We can learn who we truly are. But first, it is necessary that we remove ourselves, for a few minutes, from the ways that others press upon us who they think we are. Once we do, we can begin to notice the whispers of God, who is trying to help us live the life we long for. We can find meaning, right here, right now, and beauty and peace. It's all ours. We need only be still and open our hearts and work with our Creator on tending our souls.

A Place for My Soul

My soul, waits in silence for God only
For my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.

On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is from God

Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.

- Psalm 62, NASB

All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.

- Blaise Pascal

The place where my soul rests is a private world . I step into it whenever I shed the noise of the world outside with it's labors and concerns. Like Alice stepping through the looking glass, I find here a world that is reflective of the real one, but a world that rests only in my mind. Or does it? Is there more to it than that?

For here are memories that are as vivid as the day they happened. Here are ideas that take shape and form within my musings and which rise up before me as real as flesh and blood. Here is the Lord Himself, present with me. Thoughts, addressed directly to me, appear in my mind -- thoughts I know I did not create for myself. Here is the still, small whisper of the Designer of the Universe, so sought after and so hard to hear in other places. Here beauty fills the very air around me. Majesty enfolds me. Storms are stilled.

Here I find my strength, and I find rest for my soul.

My heart, which I hardly notice elsewhere, moves within me as a vibrant, living thing. I notice how it is. I see what I have been doing with new eyes. I see the world within my world, and how the choices I make, the actions I take, come from the very center of my being. There are reasons why I struggle, and why I win victories. Here, I know that the very wellspring of life flows through and from that secret, invisible self who lives and breathes with my every move.

Who am I when no one watches? Where do I go when the day around me hushes, deep in the evening? What does my mind do when my hands rest? It matters. For nothing of worth happens apart from my soul. No real victories, no real work, can be done apart from the center.

There is nothing more essential to a life well-lived than a vibrant, inner world.

But it must be cultivated, it must be grown, lovingly and carefully over time. Here is the secret of secret places that few understand: you can create, over time, the inner world that inspires, that comforts, that endures, by choosing well what you place there. You make your private world, and then, over the years, it makes you.

I have had the privilege of observing many lives from an intimate perspective. This has been a great honor, to have such trust and vulnerability from others. The biggest lesson I have learned from my friends is this: a rich, private world creates a meaningful and beautiful life. There are no exceptions to this rule. Without a private world that has been cultivated, it is impossible to remain fully alive amidst the pressures of a fallen world. We cannot obtain strength and depth and vitality by simply borrowing it from others, or by purchasing interesting things and experiences. Other lives can inspire. Experiences can instruct. But we must learn to be still with our own souls, to choose our place of rest, to tend to our thoughts. Without this, we will become empty. We will live, without ever having truly lived, and we will pass from this life with profound regret.

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Our modern culture does not encourage us to sit still, to reflect. If anything, it pulls us away from meditation. The sheer variety and level of noise in our lives often keeps us from being quiet. A lack of experience creates uncertainty for many. How to do it? How does one actually go about finding a private world of depth and meaning and beauty? Where to start? Many people have trouble just sitting still, alone, for a few minutes. If this is the case for you, allow me to encourage you over the next few days and give you some practical ideas that will help you build, step-by-step, a private world all your own which is a delight and a refuge for you.

Traveling Desk

I have a traveling desk. I have packed my private world inside it. I can take it with me anywhere, and find myself in its compartments. Here is my journal, my Bible, the books I am reading, important papers, lists of things to do, favorite pens and pencils, stamps, address book, even a bit of stationery for writing notes. Larger and heavier equipment, such as a stapler, electric pencil sharpener, and computer, won't fit into it. But it's sufficient to keep me together, at least in my head. I can use it to have my Bible study and personal reading and writing, organize the household, keep in touch with other people, and manage the finances. It even holds maps for moments when I lose my bearings.

What is it? An attache case that I found at Staples a year ago. These carrying cases are sturdy and attractive, and sell at very reasonable prices. With their multiple inner compartments, they can hold a surprising amount. They are designed to be able to carry laptops, but that also makes them the ideal size for folders, books, and notebooks. I use the traveling desk whenever I am going to be out for any period of time. It tucks into the car without taking up much room. If you are on the go a lot with your kids, you can use it to stay organized, read, have Bible study, pay bills, balance the checkbook, make the grocery list, and write thank-you notes -- all while waiting in your car. I have even used mine over the last 6 months for a private escape to the bookstore and to have my quiet time in the guest bedroom of our Pennsylvania house, since it was the only quiet place I could find.

For a vibrant life, under pressure and high demands, it's important to have a rich, well-defined private world. You need a place to make that happen. But this can be very difficult to accomplish. That's where our problem often lies.

If you are having trouble staying organized, remembering things, or having a personal Bible study, it may be because you are on the move all day. When we don't have a single, traditional desk from which we work, and we wear many hats, it's hard to keep track of all the different aspects of our lives. While it is very helpful to have a quiet room in the house for reading, writing, and thinking, for many of us, that doesn't work as well as it might, for we find that we aren't spending much time there. If you are anything like me, your best ideas may come to you while you are not sitting still -- at the kitchen sink, in the grocery store, while chatting with a friend.

A traveling desk may be just the thing. If you get in the habit of keeping it with you, then it can go from the school room to the kitchen to the bedroom and out the door to the ball field or the library. You'll have to experiment a bit with it to make it your own. Some things which might be essential to me could be clutter for you. I tend to keep mine in a central place when I am at home, near the kitchen or the computer. Then I take it with me if I am going to be out for more than an hour or two. For now, it sits by my bed. How comforting it is to have it with me during this time of upheaval. As we move into the future, whatever it holds, the traveling desk will go with me like a faithful friend.