The Course

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

For my homeschooling friends:

May you have the courage to follow course you have decided upon and see it through to the end.

May you have the joy of making, out of your days, something that was not.

May you have the resolve to believe that your vision is possible, regardless of discouragements and naysayers.

May you have the blessing of God over your home, your little universe, that works all things together for good.

May you know the fellowship that comes to those who have struggled and learned together.

May you enjoy the fruits of your labor.

May you delight in the small things of the earth, the little feet that patter through your kitchen, the faces that greet you at breakfast, the birds on your windowsill, the sun setting behind your trees.

May you have joy, joy that overflows and fills up your eyes.

This is a journey worth taking, worth seeing to the end. You are giving your loved ones something that will be a shelter against the world. You will not understand what you did until its long been over.

So be strong in the only way you know how. Go forth against the fear, against the doubt, against the certainty that you are not enough for this. Grace will meet you on the way, and lift you up, and carry you, and carry your children, into the vision that was given to you.

All things are a gift, even this.

On My Bookshelf: Time Management

Whew. These recent posts about my organizing system were hard for me to write. I used to teach about organization in seminars and I found that much easier . . . That's where I hold up the notebook or page and say, "Look!"

Writing it all down in a way that is easy to read was very challenging. I wasn't sure I was hitting the target, either. It's a tough topic, but it's important. Nearly every homeschooling mother has to work consciously on becoming better organized.

If reading my posts about organizing did not inspire or help you, then you could try Time Management for Unmanageable People. This wonderful book has been my favorite on time management for at least a decade, and it has been loved by many of my friends, as well.

Ann McGee-Cooper and Duane Trammell got it right in their treatise on how to survive our modern world with its multi-tasking demands. The book works because it was crafted by two people of opposite temperaments: he is a structured, detail-oriented administrator; she is an unstructured, big-picture, creative soul. Together they bridged the chasm between these two classic approaches to life and found the middle ground.

They can help you get organized in the way that works for you. If you have always struggled with this area, they will speak to you in ways that are relevant and meaningful. If you are a more structured type, you will benefit from their ideas which will increase your options and help you work with people more effectively. But beyond all this, they share principles that genuinely work for energizing your life and maximizing your efforts.

Chapters include topics like:

• Divergers and Convergers: By Helicopter, or on Foot?
• Messy Desk or Meticulous Order: Assessing Your Style
• Why Traditional Time Management Doesn't Work for Some of Us
• Prioritizing: A Million Shades of Gray
• Scheduling: Making Your Calendar Fun and Functional
• Decontaminating Time: Reclaiming Thirty to Sixty Fresh Hours a Month
• Executive Neglect: Never Get Around to Some Stuff!
• Saying No as Easily as You Say Yes

I never knew, before reading this book, that the topic of time management could be this much fun. McGee-Cooper and Trammell pull it off in style. But they are more than a good time. Their ideas have been tested in the crucible of real life. The best way to use the book is to read thoughtfully and think about how you might apply their discoveries to your homeschool setting.

They also have written a second book, You Don't Have to Go Home From Work Exhausted, which I have never read, but I understand that it is helpful for people who are burned out.

Why am I mentioning burnout at the beginning of the year? Because I know that some of you are realizing, as you face another year, that you are not refreshed. You are still tired. You may even dread, as I did some years, the shouldering of yet another school season. This means you must make changes. You must do less and delegate more. You can discover what and how with Time Management for Unmanageable People .

Please note: I did not receive any compensation or free merchandise in exchange for my written review or my opinion about this book.

____________________________________

Have you ever read a book on time management? Did it help you? Did you enjoy it?

The Great Divide

Whenever I looked at all of the things I was responsible for, and let it all swim around in my head at once, I felt crazy -- like I was drowning in it.

I would murmur to my husband, over and over, "I'm drowning. I'm drowning." He, dear man, had heard this before and knew he couldn't do anything with me at those moments, so he just nodded and rubbed my back.

How in the world was I supposed to teach high school and middle school, run a ministry, renovate an old house, keep up with the household chores, keep the lawn and flower beds trim, be active in my church, be a lover to my husband, keep up with the laundry, and take care of myself in the midst of it? It was hard not to lose my way, not to be pulled down with the vortex of demands there were, frankly, too much for me.

Notebook dividers were the life jacket that kept my head above the current.

By dividing my life into compartments, I was able to shrink each of my jobs into a manageable size. These compartments let me think of just one part of my life at the time. This made each job achieveable, mentally and physically.

I found that the most practical way to think of dividers is to think of them as jobs or as roles that I play. Teaching school, running a household, running a ministry, being a member of a church, being a member of a community, and so on. In the beginning, I just divided my jobs into three large categories:

• School
• Household
• Community

This was easy. Most women think of their lives in those three compartments. Every paper or idea or reminder relevant to one of these topics could be stored in the appropriate divider in my organizer. Remember the clear storage pockets behind each divider? Those were handy for important receipts, newspaper clippings, and papers from sports organizations and church groups. I slipped them into the pocket at the nearest opportunity and never had to hunt for them again. They were also right there for me, to remind me, when I made my weekly checklist. Ideas for things to do, reminders of tasks that must be done, lists of objectives for school, interesting books I found in the library, an educational video recommended by a friend -- all of these, willy nilly, went into the appropriate categories as they came to me. Because I did this on the run and did not worry about any particular order, it took me almost no extra time. I could punch holes into papers and place them on the metal rings of the binder behind each divider, of course. But if I didn't have time, or it wasn't suitable for the paper, I didn't have to. The clear pockets worked fine.

Two remaining categories were important:

• The Personal divider contained anything pertaining to my own personal development, hobbies, and joy breaks. I kept all kinds of relevant information there: walking shoes to buy, movies to watch, Bible studies to try, even healthy snack recipes.

• The To-Do divider held blank copies of the weekly checklist which made it easy for me to do a new one each week. I put in front of these a running master list of everything that floated to the surface of my mind. Putting it down on paper helped me to release it and that helped me sleep better. Keeping it next to the blank forms let me refer to it when I made the weekly checklist. The To-Do divider also kept helpful lists of chores that we needed to do once in a while. I found it really made a difference for me to keep lists of monthly and seasonal chores, and chores to prepare for company. This made it easy for me to share the load with the whole family. I didn't need to remember it all when I was tired and under a deadline. The list told me what should be done.

My suggestion is to start with these five categories. Then add others as you see that there is a need for it, or as a compartment gets too complicated and unmanageable. For example, because I am a gardener, I added a special divider marked "Garden" where I kept ideas for the flower beds, names of products, inspiring pictures, drawings of plans, measurements of the beds, and reminders for gardening tasks. Because I ran a homeschool ministry that met twice a month and other church ministries, I added a special divider marked "Ministry" into which I placed every piece of paper relevant to the routine management of those groups. My boys played so many sports, that I finally decided to add a special divider labled "Sports" where I kept all lists and schedules relevant to that topic. I also eventually added a divider marked "Holidays" where I kept lists for gift shopping, lists for Christmas cards, recipes for cookies, lists for Christmas dinner, and so on.

Because I had five blank dividers in the organizer, it was simple to add these as I realized I needed them. It only took a minute. The extra tabs for new categories were kept in the clear pocket behind the "To-Do" divider, so it was a cinch to grab one, write on it and slip it onto the divider, and pop the divider into the right spot in the organizer.

I think my organizer worked well because I let it grow with me. It was suited exactly to my needs. I have seen some other options of organizing systems with file folders and stacking bins. Those look inviting and easy, too. The one problem I have with them is that they aren't portable. I can't take them with me to church, to the ball field, to the store, to the library. Some people feel that they can be organized with a computer program -- these systems look beautiful, but I can't take them with me, and where would I put all those pieces of paper I needed to keep up with?

This simple, streamlined approach worked. It worked for years.

It might work for you, too.

Post-It Notes

Post-it notes changed my life. Really, I'm not kidding.

In the beginning, I used them to remind myself of things that I might otherwise forget: frozen peas at the store, a hair cut, mopping the bathroom.

I stored them, in two sizes, in my purse, in the car, in my luggage on trips, in the school room, in the kitchen, on my bedside table. You could find me by following the trail of Post-its.

I used them for bookmarks, to leave notes for my husband and children, to leave notes for myself. But looking back, I can see now that the most significant role they played in my life as a homeschooling mom was that they reminded me of the personal things: the walk I should take, the Bible study I was doing, the books I planned to read, the changes I was making for myself. These little notes meant that I remembered what I had purposed in my heart and I did it often enough to craft, over time, a life that was closer to the one I had envisioned.

Personal changes are the hardest for the homeschooling mom. There are so many needs, so many demands, so many voices calling for her at all hours of the day. How can she stay centered on her purpose and on the truth? How can she attend to her needs? Which needs are valid? Which ones should she put aside for now? How will she find the resources to remember what she was hoping to do for her own personal well-being and growth?

This is so difficult that many moms give it up. They just throw in the towel on personal disciplines and an inner soul life. They run on adrenaline and nerves and caffeine and do the next urgent thing that is shouting at them. I did it, too.

I learned that, yes, I can function that way for a while. On the outside, no one can tell the difference -- at least, not at first. Everything hums along. But on the inside, after a week or two, I become increasingly empty and strung-out. I start making decisions that I regret. I grow irritable and brusque. I get sick. I lose perspective. I have fewer and fewer inner resources to draw from because I am not replenishing, I am not resting, I am not restoring my soul along the way.

What worked for me may not work as well for you, or for your friends. We are each unique. But we all have a need to connect with God, to be still, to reflect, to engage in meaningful relationships, to play, and to exercise our bodies in a way that releases stress. We all need to address our hunger for joy. If we neglect these things, we will pay a heavy price. Perhaps not immediately, but ultimately, our lives will be shadows of what they could have been if we don't take care of ourselves.

Your list of things to do is just that. Next week there will be another list. Trying to get on top of it is like shoveling the walk while it's snowing. Ultimately, you have to come to terms with this, just as I did. Whether it's that you can't get on top of it all, or your house is always messy, or you are always tired, you have to make peace with the fact that managing a household is like this. In the midst of it all, you need to make time for some things that are not urgent, that are invisible, that are life-changing, that are restorative.That's where the little, unassuming Post-it note comes in.

Here's what I did to help myself attend to this issue:

1. When I was making my weekly checklist (which I described yesterday), I wrote down three things I was doing for myself that week on a medium sized post-it note. For example, I might write: the title of my Bible Study, my exercise, and one other fun, soul-nourishing activity. I attached the post-it note to the top corner of my weekly page. At any point in the week, I could make another one and replace it. But there it was, reminding me of the invisible, important personal life that powered everything else I did all day.

And there was one thing more I could put on that little post-it. During times that were not our most hectic, I could add one personal change to work on. Just one. A month later, I could replace it with another one. This small nudge helped me grow, slowly and surely, in the direction I longed for. Over the years, those brief notes were vastly important to my future, to my develoment as a person, to the quality of our life together. Funny, isn't it, how the smallest things can be most significant?

2. On weekday mornings, I used our reading time (as I described earlier in this series) to have a quiet time and look over what we would be doing that day. This is when I glanced at the weekly checklist. This is when I looked at the post-it note attached to the corner of the page.

3. I learned that I could reasonably attend to three things just for me, outside of getting a shower. I went over in my mind in the morning a plan for when I might do them. I made sure that I didn't have too many expectations for myself that day, which would make personal time impossible.

A nice balance in my personal times gave me something mentally satisfying (my Bible study or a book), physically refreshing (a walk or work in the garden), and something that was a way to play, a joy break. On most nights, I could spend an hour in the evenings when the boys were in bed doing some of this. But I learned the value, too, of capturing a few moments in the morning while they were reading, and in the afternoon right after we were finished with school and they ran off to their own delights. Overall, I kept my personal time, including devotional time, to two hours. The weekday schedule could handle this consistently, and it was enough to keep me fresh.

4. On weekends, I took a half-day and used it just for me. Here is where I got away completely from the day-to-day grind and recharged for the incoming week. I did things that I didn't have time for during the week: visiting a greenhouse; taking a longer hike; browsing in a bookstore; shopping for clothes; spending time with my husband on a special date. Some weekends, I spent Saturday morning on the porch with music and a special breakfast and a favorite book. Writing my weekend joy-break on the weekly checklist helped me to be more consistent in doing it. Although I did occasionally get interrupted by urgent needs which spoiled my original plans, I still benefited from this attempt to carve out time for refreshment. It happened more often than it would have if there was no plan for it.

I found that if I was attending to my own personal growth and need to recharge, I could handle with good humor and perspective all of the things happening in my household. This personal time is what helped me grow, gave me space to breathe, and let me see the richness of my life and savor it. My most creative and inspiring ideas came from these moments, or right after them, when I was fresh again. And school was at its very best when I could start each morning fully restored and recharged.

The Checklist

Yesterday, I introduced readers to my organizer. Now I will be explaining how I used it.

First, I had to find a place or two where I could set the organizer. It had to be near me and near the places where I might jot notes, in order for me to use it. Generally, it sat on my desk in the school room or by the phone in the kitchen. During busy seasons, I took it with me when I moved from the school room to the kitchen for supper. When I was out of the house for more than an hour, I carried it in my book bag or tote.

On the front page of the organizer, I usually kept my current checklist. When things were really busy and crazy, or I had my hands full with a messy project, I sometimes posted the list on the refrigerator, where it would remind me every time we ate. This was simpler for me when I was too distracted to keep up with my organizer notebook every day.

I mention all of this because each person has to decide what is comfortable for the current situation. The ages of the children, location of the school room, afternoon activities, size of the family, and working hours of the husband can change what works best. Flexibility is key. It's best to experiment a bit.

I learned, by trial and error, that daily checklists are too detailed and have to be updated too often in the home school. They couldn't allow for all the unexpected things. It was frustrating to keep updating lists of things I simply couldn't accomplish. Monthly checklists didn't carry enough details and weren't updated often enough to be relevant. The perfect frequency was to make a checklist every one or two weeks. The weekly list had enough recent information and enough details, but didn't push me to make too many promises or shoot too high. I got a better picture of our life this way -- what really needed to be a focus, what we were able to accomplish, and what had actually gotten done.

My weekly checklist page had a space for a weekly to-do list, scheduled events, and supper menus. For some years, I used a weekly checklist form that came in the Blueprints Organizer Masters from Hewitt . I ordered my set 15 years ago. At that time, it contained almost all the forms I needed to get started with organizing school and household.

A second option I recently discovered is a free download of the Homeschool Mom Weekly Planner . The weekly page is just about right. There is a second planning page below it with menus and notes and grocery lists, if you would like to use it. You could use the two pages together, one on the left and one on the right, so you have a two-page spread for each week.

Here is what I wrote on my weekly checklist:

1. Any scheduled events from my calendar.

2. Any tasks that I really had to get done that week.

3. Suppers, if and when I knew what they would be.

4. Any phone calls, emails, or correspondence that needed to be done.

5. Any special preparations that were needed for our home school, such as a library trip, ordering a book, or planning for an event.

6. Special events or projects for school -- like birdwatching, chess club, art day, co-op class.

After all of this, if there seemed to be space for it in our busy lives, I added one to three additional tasks for the week. I found that I could handle one focused task, above and beyond daily chores, on most afternoons. That meant I could bake a birthday cake OR vacuum the house OR go to the library OR work in the yard. Just one task. It was important to select activities that were high priorities and not overload the day with unrealistic expectations.

Here is what I did not put on my checklist:

1. My lesson plans. I needed a different system for those.

2. Routine tasks that I would not need to be reminded to do -- things like laundry, dishes, etc.

3. Things my husband was doing, unless they dramatically affected life at home.

4. Events from the homeschool support group, unless I was planning to participate.

5. Events in community and at church, unless I was planning to participate.

6. Detailed supper menus.

7. Fun possibilities just because I liked to keep them in mind. This only cluttered my mind with too many options.

I made very brief jottings for supper, things like "chili" or "spaghetti" or "chicken/rice/veggies." Doing this helped me take advantage of my crockpot, rice cooker, and bread machine -- which saved me a lot of time each week. When I looked at my list, I was reminded to put something into a machine in time for it to be ready for supper that day. But I did not make meals a major event. I did not cook the full meal more than one day ahead. I did, however, make ample use of leftovers. Overall, I found that simple ingredients, simply prepared, at the time they were needed, were the sensible choice for us.

I filled out the weekly checklist over the weekend, some time between Friday afternoon and Monday morning. Then I ran with it for the week. As I went, I added updates and special notes with post-its and stuck them to the page. Things I needed to remember after this week went on a post-it note and were attached to a margin on the appropriate month on my monthly calendar. Each weekend, I made a new checklist. This chore took me about 20 minutes, but it saved me hours during the week, because I was focused properly.

This was so cheap, so quick, so easy it's still hard for me to believe how much a difference it made. The one catch was, I had to make the list and use it. If I didn't, there were no benefits to my system. So if you want an easy way to organize, try it.

If you feel like you are making lists too often, you can always switch to making them for two weeks instead. If you don't want to use a notebook all the time, you can put your list on the refrigerator. You can put your list on a clipboard that goes with you and sits above your pile of papers. If the organizer notebook seems too large, you can use a smaller one and make your own weekly page.

The important thing is to find a system that works for you.

My Organizer

When my children were young, I tried a lot of organizing systems. Daytimers did not work for me. So I kept looking. I read books on how to get organized. Although I occasionally found an idea that was helpful, nothing I came across fit my needs.

Traditional time-management systems never worked for long because they created too many categories to maintain and assumed a typical office with compartmentalized tasks. Managing children and a home and a school meant that there were many unexpected demands and needs that couldn't be planned for and multiple, overlapping tasks happening most of the time. I needed a stream-lined, big-picture, flexible system that can be adjusted on the run and required little effort to administrate.

Eventually, I created my own organizer and my own system for managing it. This was a blend of ideas and principles which I had gathered over several years of listening, reading, and experimenting. This worked happily for me for a number of years: through several moves; while we rennovated an old house; while I started and ran two ministries; while I was flat on my back after surgeries; with elementary students, middle school students, and high school students.

It was cheap. It was quick. It was easy. Most of all, it worked because it was flexible and simple. I could set it up on a Saturday afternoon, and we could start the school year the following Monday.

Here is what I did.

First I went shopping. I bought the following:

• 3-ring binder (2 or 2 1/2 inches deep)
• monthly calendar (8 x 10 inches)
• 10 dividers for the binder
• tabbed address section for the binder (only purchased onces; could be re-used each year)
• notebook paper
• post-it notes in two sizes
• 5 clear pocket dividers
• pencils and nice erasers

Next, I:

• Inserted the monthly calendar into the binder and added the address pages behind the calendar.

• Added some looseleaf notebook paper in front of the calendar and some dividers between the calendar and the address section.

• Labeled five of the dividers: school; household; community; personal; to-do. I left the other five dividers blank for later expansion. As the year progressed, I added categories that I found I needed. Extra blank tabs were stored in the clear pocket in my to-do section for safe-keeping. I kept categories for as long as they were helpful and removed them when I stopped using them. (Christmas shopping and holiday planning is were one example of this. )

• Inserted the clear pocket dividers behind the labeled dividers so that slipping papers into these categories is quick and easy.

• Filled in the monthly calendar with important holidays, deadlines, and birthdays.

• Added the addresses and phone numbers to the address section, or planned another time to add those. One of my tricks was to add them while doing the Christmas cards. Usually that's also when I updated the information each year.

• Put the post-it notes of at least two sizes at my desk, in the school room, in the kitchen, and in the glove compartment of the car. I used these to add quick reminders to my calendar, to-do lists, refrigerator, and so on.

That's it. Tomorrow, I will write more on this system and how I used it each week.

________________________________________

What do you like to use to organize your year?

A Good Start

The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back, in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.

We can only do it for moments at first. But from those moments the new sort of life will be spreading through our system: because now we are letting Him work at the right part of us.

- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The next building block to put into place in your school day is a good start.

Believe it or not, this begins yesterday.

I found, over the years, that I needed to nourish body and soul if I would be at my best every day for my family. It was easy to neglect this. There were times when I tried to live without it. But I learned, the hard way, that a depleted mom is not able to meet the challenges of home and school.

Homeschooling is hard job, especially if I am trying to accomplish things that wouldn't just happen by themselves. Most of it I could arrange for and learn to implement. What always caught me up short was the event I had not anticipated. I needed an extra margin of energy, perspective, and emotional resilience to meet the surprise with patience and humor. This margin of extra energy for the unexpected was purchased by taking care of myself and by not trying to do so much that I worked feverishly from the moment my eyes opened until the moment my head hit the pillow at night.

The evenings were precious. Each moment was a penny that I could only spend once, and I learned -- slowly, over time -- to be careful with my purchases. What exactly was I buying with them? This is going to sound crazy to some of you, but I eventually figured out that I needed to spend it on my soul. If I hadn't had a quiet time yet, because the morning began with the unexpected, then I needed to use this time for it. If possible, I should ask my husband to watch over the household so I could get a shower or bath and spend time alone with the Lord and have a daily devotional reading. After that, usually by the time the boys were in bed, I should do something I enjoy and can look forward to, just for an hour, or a half hour. One winter, I read all of Jane Austen's books in chronological order. In the spring, I gazed at gardening books from the library and dreamed of ideas for summer. Sometimes, we rented videos through Netflix and watched them. The ones that were shorter -- an hour or less -- were best. We watched All Creatures Great and Small, and the Hercule Poirot mysteries this way. Some evenings I wrote in my journal. If it had been a really bad day, I left the house for a cup of coffee and took my journal with me. I learned that the best time frame was about an hour -- long enough to really take a break, but not long enough to deprive me of needed sleep.

Then I went to bed. When I didn't, I paid a heavy price. Late nights were like a drug. The first one seemed so good, so advantageous, but then I had trouble stopping, and found myself strung-out, addicted, and blinking in the too-bright sunshine the next morning. By the time my sons were in high school, I faithfully went to bed by 10:30, ready to sleep.

The next morning, I let my sons sleep in. The yellow school bus went by before they were out of bed. Generally, this meant they were awake around 7:30 and reading by 8:00. But some mornings, reading started at 8:30. For all of us, starting the day rested and refreshed equipped us to tackle our work with enthusiasm. I usually awoke between 6:30 and 7:30, naturally without an alarm, if I had gone to bed on time the night before. I lingered over a healthy breakfast and a second cup of coffee before going to my desk and getting started with a quiet time and some planning. Soon the busy day would descend upon me.

Like bookends, these quiet moments, morning and evening, framed my days in peace and certainty. In the early fall, when days were still warm, I sometimes took a walk for my morning quiet time, while my sons were reading. My steps on the pavement, and the steady movement of my body, lifted me up above the ever-present demands of a household. Here I breathed and dreamed and let my thoughts wind through the issues like a meandering brook along a busy road. This helped me to cope with the stress of starting a new school year.

I learned that my state of mind was the key. It determined the quality of everything we did. If I was strong, settled, purposeful, we could do it all and do it well. If I wasn't, nothing would make up for my weakness. Whatever else happened must be dealt with in the remaining hours of the week. This was sacred, slow time. I could learn how to be more efficient, how to cut back on my expectations, how to work within the time that was leftover. But I could not live well, if I could not sing that it was well with my soul.

Schedules

From Grades 1-8, we found that this schedule worked best for us:

1. Reading time after breakfast

2. English and Math Assignments, along with musical instrument practice (daily showers for the boys thrown in the mix somewhere. I took my shower at night.)

3. Lunch and recess

4. Unit studies which blended science or history with fine arts and other topics.

5. P.E. which was often an afternoon sports club or school sport team.

We didn't do this rigidly. Sometimes we had special projects or events that started in the mornings. But mostly, we found this pattern to be the tried-and-true blueprint for our school days.

When my sons entered high school, they preferred to make their own schedules. Interestingly, they kept a pattern very similar to this. I think that's because it fit comfortably on us. They still read for an hour or more and studied English and Math on most mornings. They added one more subject just before lunch -- usually social studies or science. This left them with one core subject, fine arts, foreign languages, and other electives in the afternoons.

I want to hear from my readers and give you a chance to share ideas with each other. What schedule works best for your home school?

Slow Time

There were things we did that worked so well, we returned to them fall after fall. With the turning of the days and nights, like birds migrating to their winter resting places, we came back to a place we had carved for ourselves in the great effort to learn. One of these things was our reading period.

In the mornings, the boys had a simple breakfast which they prepared of cereal, fruit, breads, and a hot drink. Then they settled down in a comfortable spot and read for at least an hour. I used this time to read my Bible, pray over my life, and organize the day in my head. I did not do any housework. I did not make any phone calls. In fact, we did not answer the phone at all during this time. We did not anxiously attend to school lessons or jobs where we had fallen behind. None of that existed for us during this morning hour. It was a time set apart, a slow time.

Slow time because the sun slowly rose up above the trees. Slow because we didn't have to live fast, at least not for this little while. Slow because it didn't matter, in this space, how efficient we were. We could just be.

The boys read books that they had picked out. Then sometimes, as they grew older, they read books we had picked out together and an occasional book that I assigned. They read real books -- classics -- timeless stories. They watched as Huckleberry Finn floated down the Mississipi. They saw Laura Ingalls dance to Pa's fiddle in the middle of the empty prairie before the people filled it. They sailed with Captain Jack, brave commander, to faraway seas. They watched as All Creatures Great and Small found a place of help in time of need. They discovered the tomb of King Tut in the depths of Egypt with Howard Carter. They went there and back again with Bilbo Baggins. They discovered the terrible truth with Hamlet and watched him find the courage to act. As they read, they learned about life, love, and truth.

We all learned together. We imagined ourselves in the places we had read. We studied the landscape, ate the food, heard the music. We read the great books -- long, and slow.

I confess that I did work to make it happen. When they were very young, I read to them every day. This gave them a warm feeling associated with reading time. It was special, something to anticipate and to relish. We made regular jaunts to the library where they were allowed to check out any books that seemed appropriate for them. I deliberately created sections of the house that were attractive reading nooks, full of books and big stuffed chairs and couches; warm reading lamps and convenient side tables; places where they could pile their books and things and relax. I never, ever scolded them for spilled drinks or messes that happened when they read or piles of books left behind, although I did occasionally try to help us plan for reading areas that would clean up easily and for ways to prevent accidents. I often played classical music very softly while they read, and I sometimes allowed them to have an extra treat during the reading hour.

This became my sons' favorite time of the day. Now, after moving on to adult lives, they still recall it. They tell me that one of the best things homeschooling gave to them was the time to read books. Each of them read 100 books of literary merit, many of them classics, in high school alone. It's a treasure to them now. And to me.

Hard as this is to believe, it's the truth: in spite of all the benefits, I did not properly esteem our reading time. I did not, while we were homeschooling, understand just how important it was. But now, if I could select just one element of the day to put down on a schedule, this would be the one.

Have a reading hour. Keep it fun. Keep it sacred. Keep it slow.

The First Thing

"Remain in me and I will remain in you," Jesus said (John 15:4). A simple command, it seems. And yet, we overlook it.

If Jesus must tell us to remain in him, then he seems to be assuming that it is quite possible not to remain in him. The common life is, in fact, a life lived separate from him. And that is a dangerous place to live. We cannot enjoy the fellowship of God, or his protection, or all the benefits of his kindgom unless we remain in him -- that is, live in him -- in our day-to-day lives. Vines and branches. Shepherd and sheep. Stay close. Stay with me, Jesus is saying. An old saint said to me years ago that the devil doesn't so much care what particular thing he gets us to fall prey to. His primary aim is simply to get us to do something outside of Christ, for then we are vulnerable.

I want two things that are mutually opposed -- I want to live a nice little life, and I want to play an important role in God's kingdom. And it's in those times that I am trying to live a nice little life that I make decisions and choices that cause me in small and subtle ways to live outside of Jesus. The Shepherd is headed in one direction and I am headed in another. Not to some flagrant sin -- that's too easy to recognize. Instead, I'm simply wandering off looking for the pasture I deem best. I don't even think to ask God about it.

- John Eldredge, Walking With God

In becoming organized, the first thing I must do is the hardest. I must lay it all down. Every scrap of it. Every word on my planning pages. Every day of my year. Everything I want to accomplish, however noble and good. Is it mine, or is it His? If it's only mine, then changes must be made.

I must be still and quiet every morning. I must ask, Lord what would you like to accomplish today? This month? This year? Then I must be still. After a few minutes, ideas will come. Yes, they will. Not because I am a spiritual giant, but because my Heavenly Father loves me. I should write them down so I don't forget. On days when there are no impressions, I know to move forward with what seems best. But on most days, there are ideas that lead me to change course, set aside something I wanted to do, attend to something I hadn't thought of, or teach a subject in a different way.

I should offer myself to Him as His servant in this unique role of homeschooling mother. I am not my own. I need to remember it. He is a God of order, and the first part of order is to order my heart properly, to re-set it, like an inner clock. Every day. There is no substitute for this. I will not outgrow my need for it. Rather, as time passes, I understand more and more that to venture out on my own best guess -- without even stopping to ask the Lord about it -- is a slippery slope.

I was designed for fellowship with Him. Partnership, actually. I should be doing this with Him, rather than alone on my own with my own agenda and impulsive ideas. He is, after all, Emmanuel, God with us. That was his intent from the beginning.

But He will not do for me what only I can do. I must decide to stop and listen. If I do, He will meet me. I will know what I need to do, how I need to change, which adjustments I should make. He will make me sturdy, wise, and patient. He will help me craft, out of our days, a home that is all it was meant to be.

Back to School

Apple Pie will be launching a fall series on getting organized at home and planning a year to remember. Following this, we will discuss ways to spend the afternoon after school is out, and then a week of tea. I hope this will be an encouragement to reach for your personal best, while not weighing you down with unrealistic expectations. My advice is seasoned from twenty years of raising a family and hard-won. But that doesn't mean it will be right for everyone.

Let me say it here, before we begin, that I applaud any and every way in which a mother makes her home the unique expression of her own perspective and abilities. We do not need to look just like one another, and we shouldn't if we are being true to who we are. There are many ways to have a successful family experience. As long as there is love and integrity and steady effort, the children will thrive.

So I am not going to tell you what to do. But I am going to encourage you, help you hold on to the big picture, and give you some ideas that may help. I know some of you are viewing the year with anxiety and trepidation, some with reluctance and avoidance, some with eagerness and optimism. There is a place for you here, each one of you, a place that celebrates the sweetness of home and helps you be the mother you mean to be.

For those of you who do not want to read posts on planning and organizing, I am providing an alternative. I am launching a new sister blog -- The Moonboat Cafe. This is designed to be a place where you can go to relax and think about other things, rest from thinking about your home, and connect with the other parts of yourself which can get lost in the great effort of raising a family.

Apple Pie posts will run posts on the weekdays. The Moonboat Cafe will publish at least one post over the weekend, for those readers who like to read their blogs like a Sunday paper. If I don't post, it will be because our internet service was not working, or something else happened to stop me. Check back later, or the next day. I will be there, waiting for you -- my friends of the heart and spirit.

I am looking forward to it our visits.

______________________________________________

You are invited to go to The Moonboat Cafe today and read the first post which explains how it came to be. Just click on the link above. See you there.